I've always been a worrier. When there's something on my mind I often overthink it and it can affect me physically, bringing on a headache or my back hurting. I'd like to feel more in control of my thoughts and not have them spiral out of control when I worry about something going on in my life.
I've recently been made redundant from my job due to the corona virus lockdown so this seems a good time to try focus on meditation and my thoughts of doubt. I'm worried about getting another job in these uncertain times. I'm worried it could lead to money troubles. I'm worried I will lose the confidence in myself that my new job brought me.
I'm starting with this website --> https://www.mindful.org/how-to-meditate/
My first experience of meditation was short but interesting. I just sat on the sofa in the morning after breakfast. Neither of the kids were up yet and JD was busy playing on the Quest. It was quiet and comfortable. I started off with my eyes closed trying to focus on my breath. Following my breath with my mind, in and out. I soon realised I'd started wondering if I looked serene! Haha! I went back to focusing on my breath and did that each time my mind wandered. I only did it for a couple of minutes but I enjoyed trying to focus and was amused by the thoughts that tempted my mind away.
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| Do I look serene? :D |
The second time I tried for 5 minutes and found it much harder. Maybe I just had more on my mind that day but I felt my mind constantly bringing up thoughts and I got frustrated trying to bring my focus back to my breath. When I finished I felt a bit more stressed than I was before.
Mindful also do guided meditation practises so I decided to try one of those. I chose the 10 minute one and found it to be very relaxing having a voice instruct me in my meditation. I feel this is a more natural way to learn what to do instead of going it alone. I finished this 10 minutes feeling much more optimistic about being able to meditate.
The next day I listened to the 15 minute guided practise and found it to be just as relaxing. My mind still wandered a lot but with the encouragement of the guide I felt much better about it and managed to bring my focus back to my breath each time.
Next, I tried an app for guided meditation called Serenity. It has a series of guided lessons in meditation. 10 minutes a day for a week. I liked these even more than the Mindful ones. You practise slowing down your breath, thinking of things to be grateful for and stretching at the end of a session. I've done 5 days so far and it feels like a nice addition to my usual routine. I have 10 minutes peace and relaxation as I start my day. I like that the Serenity meditation has soothing background music so it feels easier to ignore noise around the house. I completed the first week which you get for free then it's usually £17 for 6 months. Not bad if you use it every day.
I decided to move on to trying a different app and chose Calm as it seems very popular. It's also free for the first week to try. Turns out I like their guided meditation practises even more than Serenity. It feels so much more laid back, not really like you're trying to focus and more like you're trying not to. I started with the 30 day learn to meditate course and after a few days something clicked in me about why I want to meditate and what it means to me. I've been wanting to control my mind when really I should be learning to let things go.
When the week free trial finished I went back to meditating alone with no guide and found it much easier using the advice I'd learned from Serenity and Calm. There are lots of meditation apps and I feel it's just a case of finding the right one for you. I'd recommend making the most of free trials to find out which one you like best.
I've really enjoyed my month of meditation. I think it will be something I carry on with after this month. There's much more to learn and I'm intrigued to see where it takes me.
Previously in A Year of Learning:
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